An Excess of Jello!
by Amiiix3
Summary: Bella has a little too much JELLO and now she's lost. Edward gathers a search party, but why oh why must the Cullen house be so huge? Now Complete.
1. A Mystery

**A/N: This is what happens when Bella has a leetle too much...JELLO! dundunduuuun! **

**Don't blame me if you feel lightheaded, fore I have already lost me own brain. -GIGGLES-**

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EPOV

I watched in utter surprise as Bella crawled away from me on all fours. She reached the door and was attempting to open the handle before I realized what was happening.

In a swift movement I was on my knees behind her, holding her around her thin breakable waist. She struggled against me, trying to break my grip.

What surprised me the most, though, was when she let out- not a yelp- but a yowl of sorts. One that was quite similar to that of a drenched cat.

I pried her fingers off the doorknob and dragged her back to the middle of the room. I sat down on the fluffy golden carpet and pulled her so that she was beside me, my arms still wrapped around her tiny figure.

"YOOOOWWWWW MEOW MEOW MEOWWWWWW!" Bella yowled again.

The sound was quite loud, especially to my extremely sensitive ears. I clapped my hands over them.

Bella took advantage of this momentary distraction to shuffle across the carpet on her hands and knees, once again toward the door.

Just as she was about to reach for the doorknob once again, the door flew open.

APOV

I heard someone yelping inside Edward's room. It sounded suspiciously like Bella. I wondered what kind of torture Edward was putting her through and hastened to his room.

Jasper and I had been discussing psychology at the moment when the strange noises had begun. He followed me.

We pushed the door open. I burst out laughing at the sight.

Bella was staring up at us with her large chocolate brown eyes, a curious look marring her delicate features. She was also on her hands and knees.

The similarity to a cat was uncanny. I giggled once again as I looked past her to Edward who was staring at us and Bella with a very confused expression.

"What the hell is going on here?" Jasper asked. Amazingly enough for someone who was supposed to be as sensitive as him, he could be quite insensitive at times…or always.

I nodded in agreement with the question and danced around Bella to stand between her and Edward.

JPOV

Alice moved with lithe graceful steps toward the middle of the room and looked curiously between the Bella who was imitating a cat, and the Edward who was sitting there staring at her like she'd just grown three heads.

The feelings in the room were mainly of confusion, and a bit of anger on Bella's part.

I followed Alice and stood staring at Edward for an explanation.

He hung his head in shame. "I fed her…jello."

Alice and I gasped simultaneously.

"You didn't!" cried a horror-filled voice from outside the door.

In skipped Emmett, looking quite gleeful for someone who was so frightened.

Edward nodded sadly, "I did."

Rosalie followed Emmett into the room. She looked quite angry. I wonder what they had been interrupted from.

Rosalie sent a glare to Bella, who was sitting innocently on the floor licking her 'paws' …err hands.

"Who cares if she eats jello?" Rosalie asked inconsiderately.

"Rose, d-d-don't cha know?" Emmett asked, looking at Rosalie with wide eyes.

"Know _what_?" she was obviously angry she hadn't been let in on the secret.

"Bella has a…a…_problem_." Emmett concluded in a stage whisper.

"That much I was aware of." Rosalie said, looking down at her nails boredly.

Edward growled.

I hushed them up with a wave of uhhhh of 'happy'. Yea that's it. I sent a wave of happy toward the fighting vampires.

"This is no time to fight. We have a dire emergency." Alice chastised them.

"_What_ could be so dire about a human eating jello?" Rosalie asked, still very bored and confused, you can add a bit of annoyed in there as well.

"Rosalie! Focus here. Bella starts to imitate a…a cat." Alice answered.

Five heads turned simultaneously toward the space in front of the door.

But Bella was nowhere to be found.

"Bella!" Edward cried frantically, throwing himself at the air in front of the door, as if he could revive her.

With our super vampire hearing, we could uh hear a faint meow coming from somewhere in Carlisle's study.

"Bella!" Alice, Edward, Emmett, and I cried in unison.

Rosalie merely looked bored. Actually, Emmett was enjoying this far too much for his own good.

And with that, the four vampires ran from the room.

Rosalie followed muttering something about fixing her nails.

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**A/N: Good Reviews are always a plus side, me sweets. And zen you get more UPDATES! MOOOOOOOHAHAHAHA.**


	2. A Clue

**A/N: HEHEHEHEHEHEHE another chapter closer to solving the mystery of the missing Bella and ze' JELLO!**

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EPOV

I was absolutely miserable. It was all my fault that my precious Bella had gone missing. I should've never fed her that jello. But she had looked to sad, and she really really wanted it.

I mentally slapped myself. Bad Edward.

Our Bella hunting group reached Carlisle's study. The door was almost closed except for a small crack.

Carlisle was at work now, but I still felt bad going in there without his permission.

I hesitated, but Alice shoved past me and entered gracefully.

We all squashed in after her. I wonder why no one thought to open the door…

We stood at the very entrance, looking around for any signs of movement.

None to be seen yet.

_Edward, you go with Emmett and I'll go with Jasper. Left or right? _Alice thought

I grabbed Emmett's arm and pulled him towards the left. There was a little closet that way. And a few tables. A long full-length mirror also stood against the wall.

After a thorough inspection, we found this to be a Bella-free area.

Emmett looked suspicious. I wondered if he'd seen Bella somewhere and was withholding information from me. But as I delved into his mind, all I could come out with was some elevator music. Hmmm…

He shot me a happy little grin.

"Just one last check, then?" he asked, and turned away from me to sweep back over the small area.

BPOV

_MEOW_

APOV

Jazz and I searched under the desk, over the desk, all around the desk, around the portraits and the bookshelves and any random doors in the area that we had taken, but Bella was nowhere.

"We'll find her, don't worry Alice." Jasper told me comfortingly, placing a hand around my waist. He led me back toward the door.

Emmett and Edward were doing a final check of the area to make sure they hadn't missed anything.

"Alice, Jasper!" I heard Edward cry out happily. "We found a clue!!!" he said.

I bounded over to them, hoping they had found Bella.

Sadly, no. But they had uncovered a squishy red blob. Yes, the dreaded JELLO was back to haunt us once more…

"A clue?" Jasper asked skeptically, "How is this a clue?"

"Well…" Edward started, he was getting into his detective mode again. Oh boy. "As you can see, we now know that she was here."

"Oh, great job. We know she _was_ here. Do we know where she is now?" Jasper said sarcastically.

Edward's happy grin slid off his face like melted cheese. "Err. Oh I know! We follow the trail of jello!" The grin was back.

"Good idea Edward." I said supportively, shooting a _look_ at Jasper. "Let's go."

I turned to lead them to the door, but Jasper's hand on my shoulder held me back.

I turned around to the sight of Edward picking up the Jello blob with a pair of tweezers (who knows where he got those) and sticking it in a zip lock bag.

No comment on that one.

Jasper and I exchanged one really freaked out look. Emmett looked gleeful to the point where he was somewhat eccentric.

I turned away from the strangeness of them and headed toward the door.

Crazy.

RPOV

My stupid vampire brothers and my stupid vampire sister went to go look for my stupid vampire brother's stupid girlfriend who was imitating a stupid CAT!

I stood against the wall beside the door to Carlisle's study in which they had recently disappeared, glaring at a piece of carpet. Darn you carpet. DIE!

Why did they care about her anyway? I bet they wouldn't look for me if I were imitating a cat…Maybe I should try it…

Before I could think any further through my plan IBIAC or Imitate Bella Imitating A Cat, the devil herself crawled through the little crack in door and out of Carlisle's study.

How did she escape the x-ray vamp vision that my vampire siblings possessed?

Wow.

I watched as she crawled down the hall and took a turn, crawling backwards down the stairs. I wondered if I should call Edward or someone…NAH!

Back to leaning against the wall and glaring at random pieces of carpet.

EPOV

I picked up the blob of Jello with a pair of tweezers which I kept in my pocket just in case, and stuck it in a zip lock bag. I could feel the stares of my fellow vampires boring into my back.

Hah. They were probably jealous they hadn't thought of this brilliant plan themselves. I planned to spend time analyzing the DNA on the jello-blob and connecting it to Bella's later on, that way I would never lose her again. I could even make a little tracking chip and install it in her somehow.

I evil laughed inside my head. Brilliaaaantttttt.

I stood up and picked up the zip lock bag, sticking it in my pocket. It made a funny squishing noise.

The room was now empty, so I assumed Alice and Jasper had headed out to look for more Bella clues. No, I made this happen, and I would fix it.

I hastened to follow them, finding everyone standing outside the study, including Rosalie. Although Emmett was nowhere to be found.

JPOV

As soon as Alice and I turned to leave Carlisle's study, Emmett ran past us.

We squeezed out and found Rosalie leaning against the wall looking sullen. I gave her a little wave of 'intent'.

After all, we could use all the help we could get.

Rosalie stood up, straight as a board. Yea, this was getting good. She started hopping up and down, still straight with her arms plastered to her sides and her eyes wide.

Alice looked at me, frightened. I sent an apologetic look back. Okay, so maybe I went a little overboard with the 'intent' thing.

And then Rosalie's beautiful pale angel-like face cracked into the most horrifyingly wicked grin I've ever seen. She put the tips of her fingers together and her grin stretched even more (if that was possible) to the tips of her ears.

This was getting really good. I put on an innocent scared look just for Alice. She wouldn't like my evil plans for DISASTER!

It wasn't too hard because Rosalie really was frightening me. She looked a lot like the Grinch. Except, you know, she wasn't fuzzy and green and…ugly. And she was a vampire. And a girl…anyways….

Rosalie shot Alice and I one really freaky look and then ran off too.

I looked at Alice. "So…Where's Emmett?"

Just stay casual. No one will suspect you…MUAHAHAHAHA.

Just then, Edward exited the room. He looked from Alice's shocked expression to my innocent one. I had the whole puppy dog look working for me. Yea. Good Jasper…

I decided I'd have to escape Edward's extreme scrutiny. He was too mind read-y for his own good.

"Where shall we look next?" I asked him.

APOV

After Rosalie's little, heh heh, mental breakdown, I was a tad bit shocked.

Jasper was looking confused. Aw, poor Jazz. He probably had no idea he'd accidentally put too much emotion into that vampiress.

"So…Where's Emmett?" he asked me. I stared at him. Where was Emmett?

But Edward exited the room. I could hear a faint squishy noise coming from the direction of his pocket. Yes, he was definitely losing it.

"Where shall we look next?" Jasper asked him. He was probably scared of Edward staring at us suspicious-like. I was kind of frightened of Edward's mind violation too.

"I'm…not sure." Edward answered, still staring at us. "Where's Emmett?" he suddenly realized, looking around curiously.

Jasper turned away, seeming to look over the railing of the balcony type thing. "Don't know." He hedged. "Let's check around the rest of the rooms up here. I doubt she'd try to climb down the stairs in her eh, current _state_."

We agreed and headed toward Rose and Emmett's room first.

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**A/N: What's with Emmett's eccentric smiles? Will Rosalie break out of her crazy intentness? Will Edward find his beloved? Will Bella stop imitating a cat? And WHO IS BEHIND THE MADNESS???? **

**Review and you too could find out the answer to all these questions _AND MORE! _**


	3. Plan IBIAC

**A/N: OOOOOH DISTRESSING SITUATIONS! WHAT WILL WE THINK UP NEXT?!?!**

**Surprise, I've already finished the next chappie. But if you want it, you'll have to REEEEVVIIIEWWWW. **

**MOOOOOOHAHAHAHA. **

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APOV

I led the way to Rose and Emmett's room. As soon as I had opened the door, we were greeted with the sight of a large, red, shiny round thing.

"OOH! A giant apple! I always wanted one of those!" said Edward, clapping. I wondered if he were trying to take the place of Emmett since he was gone.

I moved closer to inspect the object.

"Uh, no. It's Rosalie's behind." I said, walking around and staring at the beautiful vampire who was curled up in a ball.

Rosalie sensed our stares and got up, stretching. She proceeded to pad across the large bed on her hands and knees. Once she reached the end she let out a faint 'meow' and jumped off, landing stealthily on her feet, much like a cat.

"Err, Rosalie, are you imitating a cat?" Edward looked at her worriedly. I, myself was worrying about the sanity of all my brothers and sisters.

"Uh, sorry, that would be my fault." Jasper said, looking quite sorrowful. I wondered if that was because he had been caught or he felt bad. I decided on the latter. My Jazzy was so innocent.

Jasper placed his hand on Rosalie's shoulder and gave her some 'normality' or 'common sense' or 'dull down' maybe to cancel out the 'intent' he had accidentally overdosed her on earlier.

It worked. Rosalie stood up and gave us all a condescending look. "What is it?" she asked annoyed.

"Were you imitating a cat?" Edward chuckled.

Rosalie looked embarrassed. She turned away from us huffily.

"No."

RPOV

Obviously plan IBIAC wasn't going as well as I liked. But not to worry, I had a few tricks up my sleeve. I was sure Emmett would worry about me if I were imitating a cat. Of course, he was no where to be found.

"Have you seen Bella, Rosalie?" Edward asked me suddenly.

"NO!" I said a little too quickly and a little too forcefully. And unfortunately my thoughts gave me away.

"Rosalie…" he said sternly.

I sighed.

"Fine. I saw her go down the stairs earlier." I said and with that I proceeded to leave the room. I was going to find Emmett and imitate a cat and he was going to show me all the love and care in the world.

JPOV

MUAHAHAHAHA. My evil plan was working wonderfully. Edward had just uncovered the information that Bella was downstairs. Now I just had to give him a little poke over the edge and mass chaos would ensue.

MUAHAHAHAHA.

Must keep thoughts concealed.

EPOV

"Downstairs!" I cried, pointing in the general direction of the stairs.

I led the way down. We came out in the foyer area in front of the door.

"AHA!" I cried, pointing to something in the distance that looked distinctly red and blobby. "A clue!"

Alice followed quickly behind me. Yes, you could always trust Alice to follow a plan.

We both bent down and looked over the red blob.

I pulled out my zip lock bag and placed both red blobs next to each other.

Yes, yes, they seemed to match. Although the new one smelled somewhat sweeter. Probably because it was fresh.

Jasper hovered over our shoulders looking once again very skeptical.

I took out my handy dandy tweezers and picked up the new blob, sticking it in the bag with the old one.

BRIIIIILLIIIAAANNTTT!

APOV

After Edward had collected his 'second clue', we started walking around the room.

I could not pick up Bella's scent in the room. And neither could Edward.

"That's strange." I commented as we walked through another hallway. This house was much too huge for its own good.

"Yes, yes it is." Said Edward in another detective voice. I was sure he would be holding a magnifying glass soon and smoking a pipe. Though I knew he needed neither.

"Edward." Came the voice of Jasper from behind us. Maybe Jazzy was finally giving up being so unhelpful and joining in the search.

"Yes Jasper?" Edward said, opening a linen closet to have a look inside.

"Do you think she might've fallen into one of the trapdoors you installed here _back in the day_." Maybe it was just me, but I could sense a trace of mischief in his voice.

Edward visibly shivered.

"Didn't we nail those down, though?" I asked hopefully.

"Not all of them." Jasper muttered quietly. I shot him another _look_, but he turned away.

Suddenly we were greeted by the large sight of Emmett's back huddled over what looked like a large green bowl.

"EMMETT!" Edward cried, running over to him.

EPOV

I finally found Emmett. Not quite who I was looking for, but he could help us in our search.

As I approached him, I smelled something sweet and slightly tangy.

I peered over his shoulder to see a green bowl filled with red goopy stuff.

JELLO!

"Emmett…" I started warningly. He grabbed his bowl, spun around to face me, and held it to his chest protectively.

"Edward! Good to see you old chap!" he said innocently.

"Emmett…why are you making jello?"

Emmett's face broke out into a huge grin, "Because…I'm hungry!" he said triumphantly.

"Emmett, you don't eat." Alice said slowly.

Emmett's face crumpled.

_HEHE, I'm going to feed it to Bella. I mean –cue elevator music-_  
His thoughts said.

"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FEED THIS TO BELLA!" I cried, grabbing at the bowl frantically.

"Oh, why I would never!" Emmett said defensively, holding onto the bowl tightly.

"Alice, a little help here?" I said, still grabbing for the bowl.

"Emmett. Throw that Jello away and come help us find Bella. You are not giving her any more of that wretched stuff." Alice said commandingly.

Emmett hung his head like a little kid. "Sorry." He said, surrendering his bowl of jello.

I took it and went to dispose of it.

As soon as I was back from flushing the jello, I turned to my group of searchers.

"Well, Rosalie said she saw Bella going downstairs. So she's somewhere down here. Let's stay together and look, that way _none of us_ will get any funny ideas. Hmm?" I gave them all a hard look. HEHEHEHEHEHE. My Bella and I would be together soon enough.

As we continued down the hall I remembered something.

"Emmett, was that _you_ dropping jello all over the floor?" I glared at him, daring him to lie.

He hung his head again, "I didn't do it on purpose though. It's hard to mix all that goopy chunky stuff."

I shook my head. All my clues were fake. MY LIFE IS A LIE!

"Hey Edward." Emmett said after a while of walking in silence and looking through random doors. "I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"Okay." I said sadly. But then a thought struck me. "YOU DON'T USE THE BATHROOM!" I yelled. But he was already gone.

I growled under my breath, this was harder than expected.

JPOV

Yes, yes, Edward was about to crack, I could feel it. This was easier than I expected.

APOV

I'm worried.

BPOV

_Meow_

EMPOV

MUAHAHAHAHA.

RPOV

I walked through the rooms in search of my dear husband. Where could he be?

Suddenly I heard Edward shout his name

"EMMETT!" he cried. I heard a flurry of voices.

I huffed. They were probably going to drag him away to go search for Bella. Not fair.

I know!

A wonderful idea popped into my head. _The trapdoors_…yes, this was definitely going to have to work.

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**A/N: MUAHAHAHA so many questions so little answers. **

**Where did Emmett disappear to? Where is Bella? When will Edward be reunited with his true love? And what is Rosalie planning...come to think of it...what is _Jasper_ (the evil mastermind) planning?!?! **

**All these questions and more could be answere IF YOU REVIEW! **

**Like I said before I've already got ze' next chappie but I'm not putting it up till' I get a decent amount of reviews. SO REVIEW!**

**-kisses- **


	4. The TRAPDOORS!

**A/N: I'm being uber nice giving you this chapter early cause' I didn't get as many reviews as I was counting on. Unfortunately I just couldn't hold it from you cause I love you guys and you deserve to get the next chapter! **

**I can't continue with my usual answering of each review in case you have questions or something because my email is being really weird for some reason so just know that I personally wanna thank everyone for their reviews and keep reading. **

**But...I did find a way to get my revenge...MUAHAHAHAHA!**

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EPOV 

We continued the journey through the house which seemed to be larger than it was before. Another hallway was at the end of another turn. The process seemed to repeat itself.

Jasper seemed to become more shifty-eyed as we went. I wondered how long it would take for him to crack.

JPOV

Yes, if we ever were to move again I would go for a smaller house. I was getting bored now. I wondered if we would ever find Bella. Luckily I still had a few glitches in my plan. I took the time to work them out.

"Jasper, your eyes look a little slidey…" Edward started.

I growled at him. My bored annoyance showing greatly.

He backed off. And even refrained from trying to read my mind.

Alice gave me a little pat on the shoulder. I crossed my arms and tried to look huffy. I can only wish it didn't give me away.

It would only be a matter of time before they all cracked. And then I would make my move.

I gave myself a little time to evil laugh.

APOV

We continued to walk. Jasper looked really huffy after I gave him a little happy pat on the shoulder. I could only assume it wouldn't be long until they all cracked. I did have a few fun things I'd planned to do.

Good thing Edward was too caught up with finding Bella that he wasn't reading my mind.

I decided if we ever found her, I would feed her more jello and then force her to play Barbie with me. MUAHAHAHAHA.

I needed a new evil nickname. Like Rolley Polley. Ew wasn't that some kind of gross bug? Turtle Dove. A possibility.

And then it hit me.

Pixie Cheese. YEEEESSSSSSSHHHHH. It was only a matter of time now…HEHOHAHA.

It was then that we heard the faint booming sounds coming from…well somewhere over…there. Ahem.

RPOV

I decided the only way to find the trapdoors was to stomp around.

I was fairly sure they could only be downstairs so I made my way there. Maybe if I were lucky, Emmett would witness my dramatic fall and hasten to save me from my doom.

Then we could go get married again.

I continued these stomping exercises for a little while but I was getting nowhere.

When all of a sudden with a loud boom and a cloud of smoke, the floor flipped over, dumping me into some dark dreary hole.

The small square patch of floorboards continued to spin as I fell.

10 feet…

"WHEEEEEEEEE!" I yelled out in a very un-Rosalie-like way.

20 feet…

Oh I bet the suspense is killing you.

30 feet…

_BANG!_

I landed on my behind on a squishy mattress. There was a dim light coming from a little hole in the ceiling, but other than that it was dark as … well something really dark.

I could see, thanks to my brilliant vamp vision. There was a ratty old mattress beneath my feet.

The floorboards of the trapdoor above my head flipped one last time and then fell back into place as if nothing had happened.

I smiled a very beautiful smile which unfortunately no one could see.

Yesh, this plan was brilliant. Any minute now they would realize I was missing and come for me.

I decided I might as well make myself comfortable. So I dusted off a little patch of the mattress and sat down to wait.

JPOV

The crash came from somewhere behind us. I turned to the others.

Edward looked torn as if he weren't sure whether he wanted to go or continue the way we had just been going.

Alice just looked shocked. Poor dear.

MEHOOOOOHOOOHOOO.

"It sounded a lot like Rosalie." I said to Edward.

He looked back and forth between the two directions.

"I'll go, you can keep looking for Bella." I pokey-poked him. I needed to get away anyway. What a better excuse than to save my _dear_ sister.

Edward sighed as did Alice.

"Okay. Be careful." He warned. And he and my beloved wife turned the corner probably finding themselves in yet another hall.

I followed the direction of the scream of mirth that we had heard from Rosalie.

As soon as I had turned a few hallways I reached a spot covered in dirt.

I bent down to inspect the area. I brushed nearly all the dirt away. It actually looked quite spotless, but there was nothing to be found.

I shrugged. I should stop worrying about Rose but she _could be_ a possible help for my brilliant plan.

As I stood up and took a step forward, I found myself falling.

A TRAPDOOR! My brain cried happily and I smiled to myself as I fell further.

10 feet

20 feet

The trapdoor above my head continued to spin letting out blinks of light every now and then.

30 feet.

_THUMP!_

**3RD PERSON POV**

"Who are you?!" Two voices yelled simultaneously.

"I asked you first!" In unison once more.

"Don't make me hurt you!" The voices were synchronizing.

"I'd like to see you try." They both sneered.

"_I'm_ a vampire!" The coinciding voices bragged.

"Jasper?!"

"Rosalie?!"

Jasper looked at the absurdly beautiful vampire before him. Then he turned his gaze toward the trapdoor above their heads, which was (surprise, surprise) invisible to all, due to its amazing ability to slide soundly back in place.

Rosalie crossed her arms and sat back down on the mattress.

"I thought you were Emmett coming to save me." She sighed angrily.

"Nope." He said, also taking a seat beside her.

"_You_ sound happy." Rosalie accused.

"Well, at least I don't have to keep looking for Bella." He turned to look at her, his expression gravely serious, "Do you _know_ how big this house is?"

Jasper shivered. His manly manliness giving way to his fear.

There was a squeak from the corner of the room.

Rosalie and Jasper looked at each other, eyes wide with fear…

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**A/N: Ooooooh yesh. Tis' a cliffie. A small one, but still a cliffie at that. **

**Will Jasper and Rosalie survive? Will Edward and Alice EVER find Bella? Will Emmett come save his beloved wife? And if not, will he be able to survive the Wrath Of Rosalie?!?! These questions, and more, will be answered IF YOU REVIEW!!!**


	5. LOTR?

**A/N: Sorry for the wait. My email is fine, but I'm not getting the email for the reviews, so I'm on here less than I want to be. **

**Let's all darn the evil world of computer technology and read the happy updates this authoress has added for you. -nods-**

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**MORE 3RD PERSON POV STUFF**

"MOOOOOOUUUUUUSSSEEEEEEEEE!" They yelled, clawing at the damp walls surrounding them.

"AAAAAARRRGGGHHH GET IT AWAY FROM ME THE FILTHY VERMIN THE MONGREL THE, THE… I'M RUNNING OUT OF WORDS!" Rosalie yelled as she stomped around blindly.

Jasper realized his 'climb-up-the-wall' tactic wasn't working so he huddled up in a fetal position and sucked on his thumb.

_((Normally we would take a good amount of time to talk about how cute he looked, as adorable as a wittle baby. _

_But this reporter has no time for that… back to work. ))_

Rosalie stared down at him, an evil glint in her eye.

_If I can't get Emmett to come for me yet, I might as well have a little fun while I wait_. She thought to herself…evilly.

Using her ultra super vampire vision, Rosalie found the mouse hiding from them in a dark corner.

She left the safe haven of the mattress and approached the mouse.

"Don't hurt me!" it squeaked fearfully.

Rosalie blinked.

"You can talk?"

The mouse looked offended. "Of course I can talk!"

More blinking issued from Rosalie.

"Wow."

And then…just like in 'Interview with a Vampire' Rosalie picked up the mouse and sucked its blood. Because she was thirsty and it was annoying her.

_((Although this reporter is in half a mind over whether it was a mouse or a rat. Answers?))_

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA." She said as she walked back to the mattress and sat down next to the manliness-lacking Jasper.

**MEANWHILE: WITH OUR BRAVE SEARCHERS… (says random booming voice from above):**

Edward and Alice continued to walk for a time. Alice was beginning to get nervous. Where was everyone? Where was Jazzy?

But before she could begin her daily hyperventilation exercises, they heard some faint giggling coming from the direction of the kitchen.

Edward sped up, "Bella! Bella!" he yelled hopefully.

Alice was right behind him, "Is that you Jazzy-poo?" she said, ignoring the _look_ she got from Edward.

But Alice was disappointed fore when they walked into the kitchen they were greeted by the sight of a burly Emmett wearing a chef's hat and an apron.

Bella was sitting in a baby's high chair licking a spoon and giggling to herself. Emmett could also be heard giggling. But he wants this reporter to tell you that it was actually '_manly_ giggling'. Hem, hem.

"Emmett? Bella?" Edward asked, now a little bit confused.

"Yes Edward?" Bella said, cocking her head to the side and fluttering her lashes at him.

"Uh, what are you two doing?" Edward said, walking closer to inspect the spoon Bella was chewing on now.

"Emmett"-flutter-"Made me a"-flutter- "Little dessert"-flutter, flutter, flutter-"Of cookies. And I got to lick the spoon!" Bella said flirtatiously and smiled as she held up her saliva-covered mixing spoon of DOOM for all to see.

"I see…and Emmett…why are you baking?" Edward said, turning to the manly vampire chef that was currently cracking eggs and pouring flower into the once jello-filled green bowl.

"Ah, well you see Edward, I believe you have yet to learn the true identity of…EMMETT!" he paused for a moment to place a few 1x1 inch balls of cookie dough on a sheet and stick it in the oven, fiddling with the dial.

"No one, except Bella here, knows that I've always held a soft spot for cooking. Baking. Sautéing. Slicing, dicing, mixing, shoveling, groveling, begging, whimpering, crying, merciful people of the land bow to me I AM EMMETT, YOU SHALL WORSHIP ME LIKE THE RULER I AM!!!"

As he spoke his voice got more hysterical, growing louder with each word until he was shouting and panting for breath. His eyes were wide, bugging out of their sockets as he watched them.

Suddenly Emmett reached around him and ripped off the apron. He pulled off the hat at the same time.

Underneath the chef's getup, Emmett was wearing a large white robe, and a white wizard's hat. He held a 'staff' which was actually a broom.

_((But you didn't hear it from me!))_

"BOW TO ME FORE I AM YOUR OVERLORD, SARUMAN! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"-breath-"HAHAHAHAHAMUAHAHAHAHA…"

Edward stared at him.

Bella continued to lick her spoon happily, now swinging her legs and humming 'The Barney Theme Song.'

Alice was grinning and mumbling to herself in a corner something about cheese and pixies.

Edward stared at 'Saruman' who continued to point his 'staff' at him.

"I KNOW YOU HAVE THE RING GRIMA!!!" Emmett said and hopped up and down waving his 'staff' frantically.

Edward flinched, expecting something wicked to hit him. Luckily he survived…for now.

He grabbed the sticky spoon from Bella, who was watching the situation with increasing amusement- and lunged at 'Saruman'.

He snarled and smacked him in the chest with the dripping spoon. "FOR BELLA!" Edward cried.

'Saruman' aka. Emmett's eyes widened as he fell back, the spoon glued to his white robe.

"NOOOOOOOO!" he cried and then his eyes closed and he fell to the ground with a _thud_, his 'staff' breaking in the process.

Edward stared at the 'dead' 'Saruman' for a moment.

_((Although Emmett was not Saruman and he also…was immortal…))_

Bella clapped her hands, coming out of her sugar rush for the day, finally.

"Yaaay! Bravo, bravo. Encore, encore. I LOVED IT! Oh Edward, was that for me? Did you really do it for me?" she batted her eyelashes at him again.

Edward broke from his reverie, "Of course it was for you Bella…" he said sweetly, leaning over to give her a kiss.

Bella smacked him on the shoulder. And even though Edward couldn't feel it, he pouted, pain crossing his beautiful face.

"STUPID! YOU STOLE MY YUMMY SPOON! GIVE IT BAAAACCCCKKK!" she wailed at him angrily, flailing her arms and legs, trying to get out of the wretched high chair.

"Alice?" Edward looked at her, pleading "Help!"

Alice looked up, shook her head, and went back to mumbling to herself, her smile growing wider and wider.

**BACK IN THE _TRAPDOORS_…:**

_THUMP!_

"Did you hear that?!" Rosalie asked, standing up hopefully and gazing at the ceiling.

Jasper shook his head and went back to sucking on his thumb.

"Get out of it! You're not afraid of mice." Rosalie said, smacking him in the head.

Jasper shook his head again.

"And plus," Rosalie prodded, "You'll see Alice sooner if you help me find a way out…"

Jasper jumped up, "Where do you want to start?"

"Well, I thought I just heard something, do you think they are looking for us?" she pouted, gazing dreamily at the place where she assumed the trap door was.

Jasper shook his head. "I'll look over there…" he said and ran to some other corner of the room to plot.

JPOV

I needed to get away from Rosalie.

I ran to another corner, faaaaar away from her and huddled up.

My plan was not going as well as I had hoped. I needed to find some kind of EEEEVVVIIIILLL material down here somewhere. I was sure that they had installed some torture devices in said trap uh, places. But I had scanned the room for so long, there was nothing here.

Where was Alice? Why had she not come for me yet?

APOV

I sat in the corner while Bella hit Edward many, many times. I wondered where Jasper was? But that was short lived as my thoughts strayed to my evil plan.

Emmett was out of it, as he had just been slayed by Edward. And Bella could still be in it, although her sugar high was dimming down and it would be quite hard to slip her some goods while Edward was on watch.

Rosalie, where was she? And Jasper, I wondered whether I could get him to join my …cause. MUAHAHAHAHA. Yes, the ideas were streaming now.

As soon as I found Rose, we could plan revenge against the boys. Yes, who needed them anyway? Hmmm…they were a nuisance. I nodded to myself. Yesh…yesh…the plan was going QUITE well… quite well indeedy.

**EVEN MORE 3RD PERSON POV IN THE TRAPDOOR**

"JASPER GET OVER HERE!" Rosalie yelled for him from somewhere (over the rainbow).

"Coming!" he yelled grumpily over his shoulder. Evil planning had been interrupted. JASPER MAAAAAD JASPER REAL MAD!

He shuffled over to the mattress where Rosalie was sitting.

"Yes?" he grumbled.

"I think we should try to make as much noise as we can. As if we're being tortured or something of that sort. They probably can't hear us, that's why they haven't come yet." Rosalie said smartly.

Jasper scoffed. They hadn't come yet, because they were _happy_ they didn't have to worry about Rosalie yet. But he obliged and started jumping up and down on the mattress which let out pathetic little squeaks.

Suddenly he hit something hard and a little tiny whistling noise started.

He stopped bouncing and prodded the area with his foot again. The sound of metal on hard floor reached his ears.

"Jasper! Make"-huff-"More"-puff-"NOISE!" Rosalie screamed as she slammed her marble fist into the metal pole thing again. It made a nice loud _clang_.

Jasper ignored her and reached under the mattress and pulled out…a can.

* * *

**A/N: okay sorry about all the LOTR references. **

**Saruman is basically that guy in the white robe but the evilish one. Cause there was a gray guy he was good and then the good guy. Yep. And then Grima is his follower except he gets all angry one day and slits his throat.  **

**Forgive me lovers of LOTR. I'm not that good at this. haha. -hides- Don't hurt me!  
**

**BTW: Thanks for ALL the reviews from everyone I'm really sorry I couldn't reply to all of them the way I liked. And I hope that my email spaz will get better. **

**xxChimesxx  
**


	6. Laughing Gas&The End

**BEHOLD: THE WORLD OF 3RD PERSON POV'S:**

Rosalie glanced at him, about to start yelling again, when she spotted what he was holding.

Jasper's manic grin stretched wide over his face.

"Jasper…are you alright? You're scaring me." She said, looking at the can in his hand with fear and backing away slowly.

Jasper merely nodded, his gaze fixed on the beat and broken white can of who knows what in his hand.

"Jasper, what is that?" Rosalie said, eyeing the object.

"Laughing gas." Jasper said and went into a 'Muahaha-ing' frenzy.

Rosalie gasped. "L-l-laughing gas?"

Jasper nodded and his frenzy increased in volume.

Rosalie's smile grew until it mirrored her brother's. And she soon joined in the laughter.

_5 MINUTES LATER…_

Jasper's laughter broke off abruptly. Rosalie continued on though. She suddenly realized she was alone in this laughing err, ness and looked over to see her brother looking fearfully at the laughing gas can in his hand.

"What is it Jasper?"

He shook his head and looked up at her, his eyes wide with fear.

"There's a h-h-hole in the can!" he sputtered.

Their gazes flickered simultaneously to the can in his hand. And sure enough, a faint whistle could be heard emitting from the laughing gas filled can.

"Uh oh." Rosalie said simply before Jasper dropped the can and it exploded.

**UPSTAIRS: WITH OUR DARING RESCUER-PEOPLE…**

"Did you hear that?" Edward asked, looking over at Alice.

Alice stood up in one swift movement. "Yes." She looked fearfully in the direction that they had come from. "Do you think that was Jasper?"

Edward and Alice shared a look.

"Let's go." He said and picked up Bella out of the high chair. She continued to struggle against him, hitting him upside the head over and over and chastising him about stealing her 'yummy spoon'.

But Edward ignored her. He sent a last look at the still figure of Emmett on the ground.

"Do you think we should pick him up?" he asked Alice.

Alice, who had just recently come out of her weirdo reverie, and started acting normal shook her head, "Nah."

Unfortunately for them Emmett hopped up gracefully and smiled at them happily. "Hey Edward, where's Rosalie?" he asked.

"I don't know. But I have a feeling that she's with Jasper…" Edward trailed off, looking horror-struck. "You know what happened the last time they were together?"

The three Cullens had similar wide-eyed looks on their faces. "P-p-plotting!" Emmett stuttered.

He pulled the sticky Bella-saliva-covered spoon off his white robe and handed it to Bella who immediately stopped screaming and stuck it in her mouth.

"Nuffmyg!" she cooed around the wooden spoon.

Edward suddenly took off running in the direction they had left. Alice and Emmett were close at his heels.

**BACK IN THE TRAPDOORS:**

"_HAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHEH_- AND REMEMBER THAT TIME WHEN-_AHAHAHAHAHA- _ EDWARD WAS FORCED INTO THE-_HEHEHEHEHEH_ PAIR OF FISHNE_HAHAHAHA_TS!?!?!" Rosalie fell onto the mattress, raising a cloud of dust into the air, and clutched at her sides.

"Y_AHAHAHA _A-A-ND _HAHAH_ THE T-T-T_AHAHAHA_-IME E-EMMETT_AHAHAHA_ FELL OUT OF THAT T-T-TREE-_HAHAHAHA_." Jasper countered, leaning against the wall.

"_BWAHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEOHOHOHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHOHO_. OH OH OH _HAHAHAHAH HAHAHAH_ J-JASPER I C-C-C_AHAHAHAHAHA_-ANT STOP L-L-LAUGHING! _HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!"_ Rosalie rolled around on the fluffy mattress, laughing until she couldn't breathe-although she didn't need to.

Jasper was in a similar position. He slid down the wall, holding onto his chest with both hands as if his long-dormant heart were about to fall out.

They continued to laugh endlessly; the can of laughing-gas having rolled miles out of their reach.

Rosalie fell off the mattress and rolled around and around the cold basement floor. Jasper fell over sideways, his legs kicking in the air as he banged his fists on the ground, laughing.

"MEEEEEEHOOOO MEEEEEEHOOOOOOOOOO_HAHAHAHAHA!" _Jasper attempted to breathe, to calm down this flow of laughing gas to his lungs.

**WHERE WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROIC SEARCHERS…:**

"Alice, Emmett, do you hear that?" Edward said, speeding in the direction of the yelps of mirth.

"Yes, but where is it coming from?!" Alice asked nervously. Her head swiveled in all directions as she tried to target the origin of the sound. "I can't seem to find it. It's like its coming from b-AAAAAAAAARRRGGHHHHHH!"

Emmett and Edward spun around –the latter with Bella on his back- and saw a flash of spiky black hair disappearing through the floor, before the square of wood fell back into place.

**BACK TO THE TRAPDOORS** **–panting-:**

_THUD!_

Alice fell right into the waiting arms of her husband.

Jasper looked at her beautiful face- and burst out laughing.

"What?! What's so fu-fu-fu_huhuhuhuhuhuhuhahahahahahah_unny?!" Alice made the mistake of breathing in the air, which was filled with laughing gas.

Thick white clouds of it covered the already dark air, blocking their view, even with their vamp vision.

"AH-AH-_AHAHAHAHAHA_-LICE!" Jasper cried, his laughs growing more painful.

"Ja-_haha_-_haha_-_haha_-sper! Wh-_ahaha_-ere is Ro-ro-rosalie-_hehehehe_!?" Alice laughed back.

But before he could laugh, err, answer her, they were interrupted by a commanding voice from above.

"GRAB THE ROPE!" the voice said. "IT SHALL GUIDE YOU!"

"G-_g-gohahahahahahaha_-d? Is th-_ahahahahaha_-at God?" Rosalie laughed from somewhere in the distance.

"GRAB THE ROPE!" the voice spoke more urgently. "I COMMAND THEE."

Alice, who had only just yet breathed in the laughing gas, tugged on Jasper and dragged him to where the light was flowing from.

Above their heads she could see a dark silhouette framed against the bright light from the open trapdoor.

Alice wrapped an arm around Jasper's waist and grabbed the rope with her vice-like grip.

She tugged on it, and it pulled her and her husband up to safety; still giggling madly.

The reached the fresh air and fell upon the hardwood floor with yells of happiness…and laughter. They writhed and twitched on the ground, clutching their sides and laughing merrily until the affects wore off.

…30 seconds later…

"What happened Alice?" Edward asked, as his sister lay on the floor panting.

"There was an open…can of…laughing gas."

"And where did this can come from?" Edward asked, his voice hard.

They both shot a glance at Jasper, who looked back at them innocently, also panting.

Emmett chuckled, breaking the uh, showdown thing. "You should've heard you guys '_Was that God?!'_" he chuckled again.

Jasper glared at him, "That was Rosalie." He said simply. But it was enough.

"WHAT!?!?! ROSE IS DOWN THERE? SHE'LL KILL ME!" And with that, he jumped into the hole.

"_DON'T BREATHE!"_ Alice yelled in after him.

A few minutes later, the rope moved and Edward grabbed it, pulling Emmett back up.

Rosalie was draped across his back, she was hitting it with her fists and laughing hysterically.

"EM-EM-EMMETT _HAHAHAHA_ REME-_HEHEHEHE_-MBER WHEN I DRESSED YOU UP _HEHEHEHEHE_ IN THAT DR-" Emmett slapped a hand over her mouth and smiled at them all embarrasedly.

"Ignore her. She's not right in the head." He said and rolled his eyes nervously before placing Rosalie on the ground where she clutched at her sides and rolled around laughing and making random comments now and then.

They stared at her for awhile and finally her maniac laughter turned into short gasps. Soon enough, she was panting with the rest of them.

She stood up, and in pure Rosalie style, cocked her head at them like they were the ones just rolling around on the floor laughing like there was no tomorrow for about 10 minutes straight. "WHAT CHOOO LOOKIN' AT FOO?!?!"

Rosalie put on her crossed her arms and put on her 'gangsta pose' and then walked gracefully up the stairs where she slammed the door to her room with a loud _bang_.

Before the door closed they could've sworn they heard an evil 'HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!'.

The Daring Searchers and The Brave Survivors gave each other a long look in which they conveyed that Rosalie was losing her marbles, and everyone was okay.

And **_THAT_** is the end of the story.

Well, at least the one about jello….BWAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

**THE END. **

**Now review peoples... WHAT ARE YOU DOING SITTING HERE READING THIS?!?! REVIEW!**

**Chimes. _Rain_ Chimes.**


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